Wednesday 25 March 2015

Letter 148: How to buy a meeting with a Minister

'Dear Dave,

Hooray! Today is the last PMQs before you break for the general election campaign trail. There must be a tremendous sense of relief throughout the House and probably a real end of term atmosphere, a little like you see in schools. Why not break with the Punch and Judy tradition then and do as teachers up and down the land do when their charges have been working too hard? Why not show a film as a little treat? The one I'd recommend to you all is a new release "Dispatches: How to Buy a Meeting With A Minister" And the beauty of it is, it's really educational.

Yours, etc'

Tuesday 24 March 2015

Letter 147: From redbox to ballot box, everyday the Tories fail to talk about the economy is a wasted day.

'Dear Dave,
Forty five days to go 'til election day and since last Wednesday I've been thinking a great deal about the Budget, described by many as George's most politically motivated to date. The bribes and jibes were predictable enough, so weren't of particular interest. What was of more consequence though (and which has been so difficult to find), is evidence of your Chancellor's competent consistent management of the economy. He does however, deserve some credit. Let us count the ways...
Since 2010 we've had the weakest economic recovery in the last two hundred years and there's no doubt at all George most certainly had a hand in thatHe inherited a debt of £760 billion from that pesky Labour Party in 2010 and by 2014, George managed to reduce it to £1,260 billion - and all without having a financial crisis of his own to play with. Awe-inspiring.
Child poverty down? Inequality down? Not quite. Georg's self-deceit is as remarkable as the number of people living in poverty in the UK today (of which there are about 13 million, half of those in working families). Shout loud, shout proud that the UK is second only to Estonia in the European fuel poverty league.
Should he congratulate himself privately on his economic triumphs of a 59% rise in working people claiming housing benefit, or 1.4 million people on zero hours contracts, or even on the astounding million using foodbanks ? Probably not. He's too busy defending the "unprecedented" cuts he still intends to impose if re-elected.
Just a moment... check with Lynton and see if you're still focussing your election strategy on the economy. After all, George wants us to judge him on his record and as Anthony Hilton of The Evening Standard said recently:
"It takes nerve for a political party to ask the country to re-elect it on the basis of its economic competence, when it knows perfectly well that the majority of people it is asking to vote have become worse off under its rule"

Yours, etc'

Wednesday 18 March 2015

Letter 146: The poor will never get Stinking Rich on minimum wage peanuts

'Dear Dave, 
Today, fifty days before the general election, rather than spinning your increase to the minimum wage, why not be refreshingly honest and just post people on low earnings a few peanuts with an apology? After all, George hasn't kept his promise to bring in a minimum wage of £7 by the end of this parliament, has he?

Talking of apologies and honesty... Grant Shapps, now there's a tricky one. He's getting a lot of media attention and with good cause. Reading all that stuff about LBC interviews, over-firm denials this and Stinking Rich that, multiple identities, mysterious testimonials and threats to a constituent using a law firm retained by the Tory Party, all I could think was, having the Party Chairman carry on in this manner does not reflect at all well on the Conservatives, especially at election time.

With Grant's behaviour laid out so embarrassingly in the press, aren't you concerned that that people will question your judgement when you profess such fulsome confidence in him? I doubt I'm the only voter who is asking, where's the integrity?

Yours, etc'

Tuesday 17 March 2015

Letter 145: How can the Tories be "warriors for the dispossessed" while denying legal aid to the vulnerable?

'Dear Dave,

Day 53 of the election countdown and so far this week, apart form the ugly spats at PMQs , we've witnessed the Party leader's wives (and unedifyingly, the Chief Whip's), transformed into political handbags; accessories on the still unofficial campaign trail. It's enough to put you off your supper, whether or not it's in the smaller kitchen.
Keeping to the domestic, do you not think you should mute Michael Gove's rallying cry for the Conservatives to be "warriors for the dispossessed"? His idea of fighting for social justice for "the vulnerable and the voiceless" is an interesting one, but surely quite pointless when you realise that thanks to your coalition government, 40% of victims who've suffered domestic violence no longer satisfy the criteria for legal aid?

Yours, etc'

Tuesday 10 March 2015

Letter 144: Shambolic Universal Credit and suffering little children.

'Dear Dave,
Fifty eight days to the general election and counting, my head was swirling with questions last night as I watched Channel 4's Dispatches programme about Universal Credit. Questions such as: has Iain Duncan Smith
 lied to Parliament about Universal Credit? If so, should he be made to explain himself? At the very least, he should surely be investigated by Trading Standards for his shameful misrepresentation of the efficacy of his flagship policy? 

He doesn't exactly have the golden touch does he? There seems to be increasing alarm about the reforms he's masterminded. I've read somewhere that he's a devout Christian, but maybe he's misunderstood the Scriptures. 100,000 children going hungry due to their parents benefits being cut orsanctioned, now that's just criminal, isn't it?
Have a word, won't you - after all, we all know Jesus said "Suffer the little children", but I doubt He meant for your DWP to take Him literally...

Yours, etc'

Thursday 5 March 2015

Letter 143: Dave might have one last way to escape the televised Leaders debates...

'Dear Dave,
I feel for you, I really do and can see you need some help. Obviously you don't want to do the TV debates and even a fool can see that all those feeble excuses from the SpAds have just made matters worse
So I have one last idea, which might work. Why not get Lynton to forge your Mum's signature on a letter like this:

                                                                                           March 2015
Dear BBC, ITV, C4 and Sky

Please would you excuse David from the TV debates as he is a sensitive boy who isn't able to defend his policies. 
                          Yours with best wishes,

                          Dave's Mum

Yours, etc' 

Wednesday 4 March 2015

Letter 142: Cuts to agencies dealing with child sexual abuse. Time for Cameron to also be held accountable for wilful neglect?

'Dear Dave,
Yesterday, sixty four days before the general election (I know, your timing looks very cynical) you demanded a change in culture in dealing with the sexual abuse of children, homing in on what you describe as the 'wilful neglect' of professionals dealing with it. I was struck by your insistence that if professionals fail, there should be consequences and I couldn't help wondering if we need to take that approach with those much higher in the accountability chain. Shouldn't politicians cutting resources for the overstretched social services, police and CEOP also be held accountable and punished for the consequences of their 'wilful neglect'?
Yours, etc'