Letter 25: MONEY talks

Ah, those heroic single mothers, feckless, fecund single parents and runaway dads who should feel the full force of shame as we all glare at them over the fence. So reassuring that we can think of Dave manfully holding down a job and looking after his children - lovely to see that one rolled out for distraction on Father's Day. How simple life is when people can be labelled.

But hey, The Coalition need to shrink the state and are worried about negative reaction of the voters... Here's a plan: distract, divide and rule! By constantly referring to (inaccurate) stereotyping of one of the more disadvantaged groups in society and lumping them all together unattractively for others who are feeling the pinch to have a pop at, it is possible to change the benefit system, impose ideological change under the guise of financial necessity, sit back and let things take care of themselves. Before you know it (ie in time for the next election) those scroungers and workshy wasters will get out of bed, pull their socks up, pick up any one of those secure and well paid jobs the public sector has provided thereby becoming self reliant, responsible and someone else's problem. Job done, pats all round, off to the Headmaster for a merit. The Treasury books will be balanced, the feckless will see it always pays to work, our country will be saved from a fate worse than Greece and Tories will bask in the glow of applause from the grateful voters. Only it's not that simple....